


I Thought You Were Never Coming Home!

by E_Salvatore



Series: Tagged: TBTP Tumblr Fics [9]
Category: The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: F/M, Tumblr ficlet, crack!fic, featuring ZombieBabs' Demonbro!, give or take a few words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-13
Packaged: 2018-05-20 03:38:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5990506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/E_Salvatore/pseuds/E_Salvatore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taken from <a href="http://kenaiskoda.tumblr.com/post/119898437912/established-relationship-aus">this list of established relationship AUs</a>: 'you had a business trip and I missed you so much that I kind of tore up the house in your absence like a dog with separation anxiety… sorry?'</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Thought You Were Never Coming Home!

          

_So… she’s not coming home tomorrow?_

“I guess not,” Strand sighs, giving their conversation one last glance before he pockets his phone. “She should be there with her family. It’s the right thing to do.”

_Okay. Yeah, sure. So… when’s she coming home?_

“I don’t know,” He shrugs. “It depends on how things go with her grandmother.”

_What do you mean you don’t know?_

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “Alex is staying for as long as she needs to, okay? What part of that conversation didn’t you get?”

… _what if she never comes home?_

“What?”

 _What if she never comes home?  DUDE, WHAT IF ALEX DOESN’T COME HOME?!_ _She’s going to stay with her family and her grandmother is going to keep her forever and they’re going to set her up with some nice demon-free Canadian boy and she’s never going to come home and-_

 _This_ is what he’s going to have to deal with until Alex gets home.

 

 

 

That night, Strand wakes to find himself sitting upright, feet firmly planted on the ground. By the time he’s blinked away the last remnants of sleep, he’s standing in front of the closet and ripping clothes off their hangers without sparing a single glance over his shoulder to see where they land.

“What do you think you’re-”

_Most of her clothes are still here. That’s a good thing, right? That means she’s coming back… right? She can’t leave all of this stuff behind. Look! This is her favorite sweater. She’s definitely coming back. Right? RIGHT?_

“I’ve told you a dozen times that Alex isn’t going anywhere,” Strand snaps. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

_Sorry! Sorry. I just… I miss her._

He sighs. “That makes two of us.”

_This sucks._

“It does.”

If he falls asleep that night with a pile of Alex’s clothes next to him… well, it’s not like anyone’s around to see that.

 

 

 

The next morning is worse.

They clear out the pantry in an attempt to reorganize it _(so that it’ll be all nice and neat when Alex comes back and she’ll love us!)_ but end up leaving everything on the kitchen counter when they realize Strand’s late for work.

 _It’ll be fine_ , the demon says. _It’s not like Alex is coming back today._

 

 

 

In the office, he spends at least an hour hunting down everything Alex has left there. An old hoodie she likes to wear when they work late; a few books she must’ve forgotten; a mug with little ghosts on it; little odds and ends like pens, lip balm, bobby pins.

After lunch, the demon regards his horde with an unreasonable sense of satisfaction.

_You know what this means, right? She HAS to come back. All of her things are here!_

He refuses to put anything back in its rightful place, turning Strand’s desk into some sort of shrine. Needless to say, barely any work gets done before he calls it a day.

 

 

 

_Dude. We are SO screwed._

“That… is an understatement.”

A mountainous pile of clothes awaits him on the bed. The kitchen is still a mess. He has to clean everything up before Alex gets home… which should be any minute now.

_And the living room._

“What?”

_… remember when I kind of freaked out and tore out all of the sofa cushions? And pulled out all of the DVDs to make sure Alex’s were still there? And accidentally messed up her paperwork?_

Strand’s too tired to even get mad. “Of course.”

_Yeah, we should totally deal with all of that before-_

And that’s when they hear the unmistakable sound of the front door swinging open.

“I’m h- Richard? What happened to the couch?”

“Alex!” He hurries out to the living room and immediately draws her into a hug – partly because it’s been four days, partly because this blocks her view of the kitchen. But the kiss he presses to her temple is entirely because he’s missed her. “How’s your grandmother?”

“Hm?” Alex seems distracted. He realizes, belatedly, that the paper-strewn coffee table is in her line of sight. “Oh, yeah, she’s fine. False alarm. She slipped in the shower but all the scans came back just fine; didn’t even break anything, just knocked herself out for a few hours. Her doctor calls it a miracle but he should know better by now. We Reagans are pretty good at beating the odds when it comes to things that are supposed to kill us.” She shrugs, her eyes bright with mirth.

“It _is_ one of your best traits,” Strand muses, offering her a warm smile. “I’m glad you’re home. I-”

_Hey!_

“ _We_ ,” He amends with a roll of his eyes, “missed you.”

Alex eyes the disaster zone that is their living room with a pointed look, though the twitching of her lips threatens to give away her amusement. “I can see that.”

It’s not the first time a certain _someone_ has freaked out, so maybe Alex knew what to expect when she got home. Still, this is ridiculous. “I’m sorry. We’ll get everything cleaned up, I promise. You should get some rest.”

“No,” Alex sighs. “It’s fine. Let me just get changed and we can do this together, okay? Otherwise it’s going to take you all night.”

Strand leans in for a quick kiss. “You, Alex Reagan, are an angel.”

“I thought you didn’t believe in angels,” Alex retorts with a grin, slipping out of his arms to pick up her bag and head for the bedroom. “Why don’t you start with the living room? I’ll be out soon.”

So he bends down to pick up discarded DVD cases, focusing on the mindless task of alphabetizing movies and shelving them until Alex comes out to join him.

_Dude. DUDE._

“What now?”

_HER CLOTHES._

“Shi-”

“RICHARD ARTHUR STRAND, WHAT IN THE NAME OF GOD HAVE YOU DONE?!”

_Welp, we’re sleeping on the couch tonight. But hey – at least she’s home, right?_

“Yes,” Strand can’t help the smile that tugs on his lips even as Alex appears, eyes flashing with the fury of a woman who’s just spent four days taking care of her sick grandmother and is too damn tired to put up with his separation anxiety bullshit right now. “At least she’s home.”

**Author's Note:**

> This one might've been a bit text conversation-heavy. Sorry about that, guys. I was pretty set on keeping it below the thousand-word mark and I figured text messages don't count. (Also, way easier than writing a few paragraphs to set things up.)
> 
> [Here's a deleted scene featuring Drama Queen Demonbro having a meltdown.](http://esalvatore3.tumblr.com/post/139172900559/deleted-scene-from-ficlet-2)


End file.
